Therapy to Improve your Self-Esteem

Time to QUIET your inner critic

How is having Low Self-Esteem getting in the way of truly enjoying your life?

Does this sound familiar?

  • You tend to focus more on the one thing you did wrong, rather than all the things you’ve done right. 

  • You’re constantly trying to give others the benefit of the doubt, but no one gives this back to you. Not even yourself.

  • You’re walking on eggshells around others, and spend a lot of energy trying to please others who honestly don’t treat you that well.

  • It’s hard to set boundaries or say “no” to others when they need something, even when saying “yes” to everything is slowly killing you.

  • You can’t imagine letting go of relationships, even ones that bring you more harm than good.

  • You struggle with PEOPLE PLEASING, OVERTHINKING, FEELING LIKE YOU’RE TOO MUCH OR NOT ENOUGH, OR SHAME.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is the way you value yourself as a person. Your self-esteem reflects your level self-acceptance, self-respect and how good you feel about yourself. Self-esteem exists on a spectrum: some experience very low self-esteem and others very high self-esteem - and everything in between.

Healthy self-esteem means having a more positive and realistic sense of self. You recognize your strengths and abilities, while acknowledging your areas for growth. Low self-esteem is characterized by negative self-perception, including self-doubt, worthlessness, and negative thoughts and beliefs about your capabilities, our character, and more. It's no wonder low self-esteem impacts mental health and well-being!

There's often overlap between low self-esteem and mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, etc. The negative self-perceptions of low self-esteem can fuel the feelings of low self worth that can be characteristic of depression. Depressive symptoms can have a negative impact on one's life functioning, causing a person to feel worthless and hopeless.

There can also be a negative feedback loop between low self-esteem and anxiety. If a person has low self-esteem and self-doubt, they may experience worry and anxiety about their career or academic achievement, whether they'll be be accepted or rejected by others, etc. The relationship between anxiety and low self-esteem can become evident in early childhood and young adulthood with continuing effects throughout life.


Understanding the Root Causes of Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem doesn’t just appear out of nowhere—it’s often shaped by past experiences, relationships, and the messages you’ve received about yourself over time. If you struggle with self-worth, you’re not alone. Here are some common reasons why self-esteem issues can develop:

  • Painful Childhood Experiences
    The way you see yourself starts forming in childhood. If you grew up with neglect, conflict, trauma, or abuse, you may have developed core beliefs that you’re not good enough, unworthy of love, or that something is inherently wrong with you.

  • Harsh Criticism from Authority Figures
    If you were constantly criticized or made to feel like you were never enough, it can take a lasting toll on your confidence. As a child, mistakes might have led to punishment rather than guidance, leaving you afraid to fail and believing you’ll never measure up.

  • Unhealthy Family Dynamics
    Growing up in a household filled with conflict or emotional neglect can make a child believe, "It must be my fault,"or "I’m not lovable." When love and support feel conditional, it’s easy to carry that insecurity into adulthood.

  • Bullying & Peer Rejection
    Feeling unwanted or excluded—whether in childhood, adolescence, or even adulthood—can deeply wound self-esteem. Hurtful words and social rejection often stick with us long after the moment has passed, shaping how we see ourselves.

  • Cultural & Social Expectations
    Society constantly tells us who we should be—whether through cultural norms, religion, or the unrealistic portrayals we see on social media. When you feel like you don’t “measure up,” it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.

  • Unhealthy Relationships
    If you’ve been in toxic, emotionally abusive, or manipulative relationships, you may have started believing the negative things said about you. Relational trauma can make you question your worth and blame yourself for the mistreatment you endured.

  • Trauma & Mental Health Struggles
    Experiencing trauma—whether emotional neglect, abuse, or interpersonal violence—can deeply damage self-esteem. If trauma leads to mental health conditions like anxiety, depression, or PTSD, it can further reinforce feelings of worthlessness, self-doubt, and a lack of self-compassion.

If any of this resonates with you, know this: you are not broken, and you are not alone. Your self-worth isn’t defined by your past, and healing is possible. With the right support, you can rewrite the negative beliefs holding you back and start seeing yourself through a kinder, more compassionate lens.

It may feel impossible now, but you can feel confident in yourself. You can be as kind, gentle, and generous to yourself as you are to others. You can genuinely feel like you are enough.

And I can help you get there.

My Approach to Therapy for Low Self-Esteem

Struggling with low self-esteem can feel like carrying around a weight that no one else sees. It makes self-acceptance—let alone self-love—feel nearly impossible. But I see you. I understand how deeply this can impact your life, and I bring warmth, empathy, and an open heart to our work together.

Your experience with low self-esteem is unique to you, and I honor where you are in your journey. I also know that lasting change is possible. My training and experience allow me to skillfully guide you toward building a stronger, more confident sense of self. I use a combination of trauma-informed and somatic therapy approaches designed to help you heal from the inside out:

  • Internal Family Systems (IFS)-Informed Therapy
    We’ll work with the parts of you that hold onto negative thought patterns, shame, and self-doubt. Through IFS, you’ll begin to connect with your core self—the part of you that is calm, confident, compassionate, and capable of transformation.

  • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
    Painful past experiences and trauma often fuel low self-esteem. EMDR helps your brain process and reprogram these experiences, replacing harsh, self-critical beliefs with a healthier, more supportive inner dialogue.

  • Mindfulness
    Becoming more present and aware of your thoughts can be a powerful tool in shifting self-esteem. I’ll help you develop mindfulness practices that strengthen your ability to notice and challenge negative self-talk so it no longer defines you.

  • Somatic-Informed Therapy
    Your body holds onto emotional experiences, and the nervous system plays a big role in how we feel about ourselves. By incorporating body-awareness techniques, we can release stored emotional pain and rewire how you experience self-worth.

Healing low self-esteem isn’t about just thinking more positively—it’s about deep, internal change. I’m here to help you uncover the strength, confidence, and self-compassion that has always been within you. Let’s work together to help you finally feel at home in yourself.

Therapy for self-esteem can help you…

  • Break patterns of negative self-talk

  • Improve your self-esteem and self-compassion

  • Validate and honor yourself and your needs 

  • Prioritize yourself without feeling selfish

  • Create the boundaries you need in life

You can love yourself again

You don’t have to continue being your own worst enemy!

Questions?

FAQs

  • It can look a lot of different ways, but ultimately I don’t believe one can really logic their way out of low self-esteem (i.e., with worksheets, journal prompts, etc.).

    I believe the quickest and most effective way is to engage in forms of therapy that specifically target this difference between “I should be kinder to myself” and “I don’t deserve to be kind to myself.” That is - somatic and brain-based forms of therapy such as Brainspotting and EMDR.

    With these approaches to therapy, you’ll work towards finding the root of why you currently see yourself the way you do and instill more positive thoughts about yourself.

  • Others may often tell you you’re too hard on yourself. Every now and then you may recognize it too, but it’s hard to differentiate between things you want to try and motivate yourself and push yourself out of your comfort zone, and what’s going too far.

    If you often find yourself in an internal battle with yourself, stuck between what you want to do and should do, or what you won’t allow yourself to do until X happens (you lose that last 10lbs, someone else validates your feelings), you likely can benefit greatly from therapy that is focused on your self-esteem.

  • I’m excited about the opportunity to support you creating a different (i.e., better) relationship with yourself! We’ll start with a free 20 minute consultation so that we can meet and see how we connect.

    I truly believe the connection between therapist and clients makes all the difference in therapy, so if any of us decides we are not the best fit, I will be happy to provide you with referrals.

  • Here are some ideas to start shifting your perceptions about yourself that can be a helpful addition to counseling:

    "Self-care" isn't a dirty word. Not caring for yourself isn't helping you feel better. How would a caring friend encourage you to care for you? Sleep an extra hour, do something you enjoy, eat a healthy meal, hang out with a friend, etc.

    You've got superpowers! Write down your positive characteristics, what you're good at and have accomplished. Ask a trusted friend: what do they appreciate about you? Read these daily!

    Imagine it, become it. Visualize a future "you" who's done lots of self-esteem growth/ healing. What would they tell you about your worth and value? What advice and guidance would they give?

    Who are your people? Those who experience low self-esteem can engage in counterproductive interpersonal patterns. Spend time with positive, caring and supportive people who care for you as you are.

    Get goals. Break a big goal down into mini-goals that you can work towards over time. As you accomplish these, you'll feel more positive about yourself and your capability to achieve.